Alone

Evening

Mozart symphonies (Prague Chamber) waft over to where Lara's reclines. The atmosphere is serene. The noisy oxygenator machine has been moved to the kitchen and we don't hear it any longer over here.

Her stomach has settled to the point where she doesn't feel nauseous any more. Her eyes are closed, but I know she is still awake. I ask her if I can get her anything. No. A kiss perhaps? Oh, yeah, she croons.

The house is finally empty of caretakers. No matter how much we appreciate them during the day, we also like a stretch of privacy during the evening.

Lara is relaxed being there just the two of us. For me, it is a bit of a liability. When something would go terribly wrong between now and tomorrrow 9:00AM, I would be on my own dealing with it. As a hypochondriac I am slightly anxious as to what might go wrong; which is actually quite a lot. I rehearse how I might combine a number of things: taking care of Lara's needs, alerting the infirmiere de garde or the doctor, buzzing them in when they'd finally arrive, while following their instructions in the meanwhile.

Then again, this feels so peaceful. Even if non-verbal, the atmosphere is precious. 'Nuf said.