Button

Tuesday 29 May

"There's a button missing!"

I had found her a black dress this morning. The cotton garment opens with buttons all along the front and is therefore ideally suited for accomodating the central line near her right collar bone. It is also sleeveless, which keeps her cool in the heavy weather and hot temperatures gracing Brussels at the moment. Also, I found her a yellow belt to match her little yellow chnels.

After her usual toilettage, she sits up in bed against her giant pillow. But just before she closes her eyes to take a little nap, she looks down and sees that one of the little black buttons on her dress is missing. And sure enough, I am dispatched to collect the button jar and sewing kit, leaving it to the hospice to find a matching one and sew it on.

It is these samples of lucid behavior and self-awareness that tell me we have some ways to go with this lady.

Let there be no misunderstanding: Lara has not gone on a hunger strike. (She still eats and drinks, while trying really hard to keep her food down, and she is still taking nutrition supplements.) Nor is she renouncing medical treatment in general. (She is still getting her daily supply of antibiotics, for example). She has merely decided not to travel to the hospital for weekly blood transfusions anymore. (It takes too much out of her.) She would accept transfusions at home if they were possible, but we are told that they aren't. At the hematology day-clinic they find the whole process of a transfusion (platelets and red blood cells) too complicated (compatability testing, deblocking, rincing) and the risk of shock too high to let it happen outside of their control. Our doctor, Isabelle Willemot, checked with them this morning, and that was the answer.

Willemot took it up further with the chef de clinique and insisted. Turns out it is possible after all. I will be duly advised how to put the operation together logistically. Did Lara want to be transfused at home?

Yes.